195.2

First of all, They are saying the movie The Vow is the new Notebook.  I'm here to tell you that the Notebook is still the new Notebook.  The movie is good, Channng Tatum is great to look at, I'm not gonna lie, BUT, come on, replacing the Notebook?  Never.  I mean, come on.  The kiss alone! 

"It's still not over ... "

Second, on Sunday, after a particularly difficult eating weekend, I said to my daughter 'What is wrong with me???'  She said, 'Maybe you need therapy.'  Well, I wasn't particularly thrilled with that answer for several reasons.  Yesterday while working out, Hot Zac, my trainer, asked me how the weekend was and we talked about the mishaps.  He then said the golden words.  "Are you an all or nothing person?"  "YES!"  I responded.  He said, "Me too!" 

Come to find out, there are many who are all or nothing.  I am one of those people who can't justify eating just a little becasue I deserve it because I don't stop at just a little.  And now, I know this is REAL.  It just isn't me.  And I can now OWN it and deal with it. Thank you Hot Zac! 

Don't believe me?  Decide for yourself ...

Told you!

I asked him how he dealt with his own battle of all or nothing and he told me what works best for him is to allow one or two MEALS a week that he enjoys.  Not days, but meals.  He watches what he eats the rest of the time and is very regimental and then he allows himself to eat the things, in moderation of course, that he enjoys so he doesn't feel deprived.  I feel like this is a strategy I could follow.

I'm not sure I can follow the pattern Sean Anderson, who wrote Transformation Road, set for himself.  He allowed himself 1500 calories a day.  Period.  Nothing more.  He didn't deprive himself and ate what he liked but kept the calories to 1500.  He was super successful and I admire his tenacity.  I tried that the last week thinking I too could do this.  But I found I couldn't because once past my lips, I choose not to stop.  Choosing to stop is my decision - but for some yet unfathomable reason, I choose not to.  So, until I can understand this response in me, and I'm sure Christines questions will help me figure that out (lol), I have to have the do not pass attitude.  Even the one or two meals a week may not work - but I don't want to deprive myself of the things that make life enjoyable.  I need to learn moderation. 

So, what do I do with this information now?  I manage it.  I start to recognize trigger foods, emotions, places.  All the things that make me crazy when it comes to food and document it so I KNOW what then I can determine how.  This week you know what my melt down food was?  Animal crackers.  Given to the babies at church to quiet them.  During lesson time, I had one to calm my stomach.  Then two.  Then three.  Then before I could sing Just a spoon full of sugar they were gone.  Moral of this story?  Noah is the only one that gets the animals during church!

Hello I'm Julie.  I'm an all or nothing gal.  And, I am not alone. 

Thank you Hot Zac.

Loves.