196.4. Christine's Challenge Question Answered

Part 1.  “Why do I want to lose weight”.

I have all the standard responses that we tell everyone.  But when I really think about it and am honest with myself, the reasons are all selfish and self serving and quite frankly, all about me.   I want to feel good about myself.  I want to walk out my door in the morning and feel confident.  I don’t want the skinnies of the world to judge me.  I don’t want to be mocked because of my size.   I want to wear a swim suit at the ocean or a pool and not want to stay covered up.  I want to walk into a store and not have to go to the plus size section.  I want to look current.   I want to be relevant.  I want to matter.  I want to be the girl who demands a second look. 

I’m not saying I’m either proud or condoning my feelings, I’m just being honest with myself.  After all, isn’t that the reason for the question? 

This week I started doing circuit training with a personal trainer.  It kicks my butt.  Today, I wanted to die, again.  I also have not lost any weight this week.  But strange as it seems, I can tell a difference already in how I feel physically, but more important, how I feel about myself.  I actually allowed myself to wear my ‘killer boots’ also known in some circles as ‘hooker boots’ on the outside of my skinny jeans yesterday and I felt GREAT!!  I exuded confidence.  And, I turned a head or two. 

THAT is what I want.  THAT is why I want to lose weight. 

Someday, I hope I can look back on this post and realize how superficial this statement is and have other reasons for wanting to lose weight, but right now, this is my driving force.  I’m doing this because I want my eyes to see what my head knows is in there.

Part 2.  “What are my chances of Success this time?”

Do I think I will succeed this time?  ABSOLUTELY.

Why?  Because …

·         I have the support from this amazing online community that I never had before.  

·         I am accountable to people that know what I’m selling is either the real deal or crap. 

·         I have the determination now more than ever. 

·         I don’t want to live my life on the “if only…” end of things.

·         I am so tired of the other way of life.

·         I have friends and family who believe in me.

·         I believe in myself.

Loves.