My weight is up slightly. I’ve followed my goals but I have not seen the amazing weight loss that I imagined would accompany the goals I set for myself and it is frustrating. Intellectually I know I am doing what is best for my body but emotionally I just want to bake those butterscotch brownies or pumpkin cookies with browned butter frosting and indulge. Instead, I tell myself, No, you have goals you want to achieve. So then the bargaining with myself begins. Well, only ONE cookie won’t hurt anything. I mean it’s just one – right? No, I tell myself, it won’t be just one. I have to have an all or nothing approach to my eating because if I give in, I might as well give up. I can’t seem to do much in moderation. So, I am feeling frustrated. I want my cookie but I want results right now too. But then I tell myself, No, you have to remember the ONE factor. One day. One meal. One minute at a time. Then I tell myself, effff you. Then I have to tell myself, POTTY MOUTH!! No, that’s just your emotions talking. Fine! I say. FINE! I’ll go buy myself a pair of shoes instead. At least I know I can find those to fit me. Okay so I'm not all sunshine and roses - welcome to the real me. I have bad days. I have off days. I have I don't give a flying eff days. Today, I'm having a down day. It could be because of the rain, it could be because of the weight gain, it could be because I really want a cookie. But really, I think it is just because. Do you love me anyway?