204.4

WHAT???!!!???  I know.  It looks like success.  Reads like success.  But I know the truth.  Tomorrow it will be up.  I'm glad for the temporary down trend but I now what I ate on FRIDAY that took me nearly to 4000 calories.

Let me 'splain.

Thursday we (Harold and I) went to Vegas for a work trip and I did great on calories.  Even walked down the strip to get a smidgen of exercise while feeling like my head would explode with a head cold.  Friday is where I took a wrong turn.  I didn't get to the comment by Chris which would of helped (I HAVE TO GET AN iPhone - my ipod is good but just not cutting it).  Thank you Chris for posting it - I actually made and ate boiled eggs for breakfast this morning instead of getting a peppermint mocha  because of this suggestion!

Friday my colleague and I had to drive to St. George and on the way we stopped by McDonalds for breakfast (620 calories).  We hit McDonalds on the way out of town for a late lunch (730 calories - McRib don't judge me).  Then Harold wanted to go to Mortons for an early dinner (1300 Calories best I could tally).  Lobster Bisque, Chopped Salad, Bone in Filet Mignon, Mashed Potatoes, Garlic Onion Bread, water to drink.  We shared each portion and I passed on the carrot cake with cream cheese frosting that I later found out was 1500 calories.  Not done yet.  Late night snack.  Yep.  Fritos, Bean Dip, and a glass of wine.  guess what time.  Yep.  10:00.  I didn't enter the food until I got home and could catch up and then I wanted to die.  Where was the Control I talked about in 205.6??? 

Saturday we drove home and I slept when I could but eating wasn't the best.  I knew I blew it the night before so I rewarded myself with a whopper junior and french fries.  Thank you 600 calories.  I weighed myself Sunday morning and it was back up to 206 and I was heart sick along with my head cold sick and I just didn't have the heart to blog about it.  I was embarrassed.  But today, I was determined to be accountable no matter what and was surprised that my weight was down.  Here are my numbers for the week and you will know why I am NOT optomistic about further loss on the scale for tomorrow.  4 of the 7 days calories were over my goal:

• Mon Nov 14 - 1472, burned 451, net 1020
• Tues Nov 15 - 1921, burned 453, net 1468
• Wed Nov 16 - 1126, burned 212, net 914
• Thur Nov 17 - 1427, burned 0, net 1427
• Fri Nov 18 - 3896, burned 480, net 3416
• Sat Nov 19 - 1794, burned 0, net 1794
• Sun Nov 20 - 1602, burned 0, net 1602

 So, last night, being discouraged for three main reasons, I had a breakdown at church about my mom, I've had this dumb cold for over a week, and I'm not losing weight.  I talk to my child #1 who is also tracking her calories and I ask her to look over my food choices and give me some help.  She says

• Because I have not lost weight (significantly that I had hoped to by now) but I also have not gained weight, I am in a maintaining state.
• Even though my calories are down, I'm still eating bad food like bread and breaded items like chicken tenders.  She says, stay away from the breaded items and limit the breads.
• Worst, I am looking at my net calories as what I still have left instead of looking at the consumed for my limit.  

I have so much work to do.  In the midst of all this struggle, and even though my calories on Saturday were nearly 1800, I have to record a success.  On Saturday I wanted a cookie.  A chocolate chip cookie from Subway that was part of a gas station.  I waited in line.  Then I saw the posted calories.  200 for ONE cookie.  I turned and walked away.  I WALKED AWAY.  I have to celebrate the small successes.  This was small, but it was success. 

I know this week is going to be hard.  Emotionally.  I mean all it took on Sunday to lose it was someone who didn't know my mom had died to ask how she was doing.  AND I have to make the pies she always makes for my dad.  I am working on my strategies in my mind and I will post and be accountable. 

Thank you online world for allowing me to write.

Loves.