204.6

Control has paid off.  I can see the movement in the right direction.  Ever so small but present.  I'm so pleased.   Yesterday was a difficult day thinking of the her and the promises made.  But my resolve is ever present.  I know I can do this because He kept his end of the deal.  If nothing else, I will do it for her, which will lead me to do it for me.  Complicated.  In the past when I tried to make change, I shied away because I knew that if Satan knew my goals he would do everything in his power to challenge me and ultimately fail.  But this time, it's not a fear of mine.  I know I will be tempted.  The difference is this time I am committed and determined and I made a promise not only to myself, but to Him.  Breaking this promise has more consequences than breaking my diet - so the determination is there.  I would say to Satan bring it on but that's just stupid to tempt fate.  What I say instead is Father, please help me.

Speaking of Fathers, Dad is doing okay ... lonely in the big house ... but I so took over making lists for him to do ... Mom you would be proud.  Christmas will keep him busy - I pray to find the time to keep both him and my family together.

So, goals for today.
Calories - 1500.
Exercise - 20 minute walk (I played RB yesterday - give me a break!)
No sweets and only this one diet coke.
Argh!!!  This is going to be hard - but that challenge is what gives it meaning - right?

Loves.